_Who Knows In the Dark?

_ Sometimes deep in the night, I wake, I wonder, am I the child or the adult?  

Am I the father, the son or the grandson? 

Who am I? 

What age lies upon my shoulders? 

What responsibility blankets me? 

What relationships entangle and caress me?  

Do I answer to Billy, Bill, William, Dad, PopPop or husband?

In the dark, why can’t I tell who I am?  

Is my life a dream? 

Is my dream my life? 

Is the wet spot on the bed the unrequited lust for life or the onset of puberty or the semi-senile drooling of the aged?

Is the ache in the arm the result of pounding down shots, shooting too many hoops or the onset of arthritis? 

Is the quiet breathing next to me the sound of my love, the sigh of my child or the adolescent wheezing of my brother in childhood? 

In the dark, how can you tell who you are?

Need I roll over to sleep so I am rested for work or lie awake contemplating what work lies ahead?

Is my life at the beginning or at the end or somewhere in the ill defined middle?

Is the noise in the night my parents coming home, my child awakening to be fed or my own phlegm ridden cough?

Who can tell in the dark?

The softness of night can be a reprieve from a trying day, the easing of sore muscles and tired bones, the recollection of past success or failures or a tiny little death each and every occurrence.

If I drag my self to full consciousness’ will I lie curled in my boyhood bed, my frat house single or my wedding king, where will I find me?

Who knows in the dark?

As I lay in that valley between sleep and awake, I know my life has encompassed good, bad and ugly but I know with certainty that I love, am loved and will continue to love my life, my wife, my family.

Even if it is dark, my night is never lonely.  

Who knows in the dark?

I do!